Tag Archives: breakfast

Breakfast Machines

27 Aug

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, it boosts our energy, fills us full of fibre and gets us ready to battle evil ex’s and stuff.

However it is a bloody pain – your tried, groggy and putting bread in the toaster or even getting round to frying an egg just seems far too much effort.

So below is a selection of the greatest ever machines that can create breakfast for you.

’Pee Wee’s Big Adventure’ is Tim Burton’s first full length movie and is so weird that Mr T cereal seems the most rational thing in the whole movie. 

Ahh ‘Honey, I Blew Up The Kid’ I’m sure most wives would say ‘I think its best for the kids if I divorce you’ after the first film, here however she stays with him and guess what they only go and blow up the kid, still at least the toast isn’t burnt.

Wallace is the greatest inventor of our time, he doesn’t even have to burn off calories dressing himself in the morning. Still his breakfast machine has issues 1) Criminal penguins 2) The fact that having a side-kick dog who understand machinery is hard to come by these days.

My vision of purgatory is one in which everyday at breakfast, your dad is all chirpy and before you even sit on the steps with him, he has planned a song about togetherness, being together forever and ever and ever and ever – which cunningly always finishes as soon as his breakfast is ready; us kids just get stale bread – swine.

Then there is the ‘Back To The Future’ Doc Brown Breakfast Machine is one that goes totally wrong – burning toast, exploding eggs and the dog food missing Einstein’s bowl. It is so wrong you can’t even find it on YouTube just in case others try and recreate it.

Each of these machines is called a ‘Rube Goldberg machine’, a machine that over complicates a simple everyday task.

You may of noted that most of the above examples involved a mad inventor character  – well yes mad scientist do need a machine to make breakfast.

In reality however it was the film directors that wanted/needed the breakfast machine; what with them doing most of the work (cough* getting the credit; cough*) they saw it as a valuable commodity towards finishing the film.

I leave you with Family Guy Peter’s attempt; whilst I start to plan my breakfast machine